Food

I’ve made a couple of posts on diet and exercise, so far, and fully anticipate making several more. But I’m not trim, I’m not toned, which naturally begs the question, why listen to a fat guy about dieting?!

Well, I’m glad you asked…

I’ve been overweight since I hit my 20s. And, as a result, I’ve been in and out of diets since my that time. That’s more than 25 years of diet experience. I know what you’re thinking, ‘But, you’re still fat!’

Firstly, how dare you be so rude?!

Secondly, while this is undoubtedly true, if I assume I’ve only dieted once each year, and only lost 2 stone each diet, that’s still a total of 50 stone weight lost, over the years. 50 stone!

Surely we can all agree that, while I might not know how to keep it off, this makes me some sort of an expert at getting it off…

I see these diet and fitness coaches, with their perfectly sculpted abs… and their perfectly chiselled jaws… and their perfectly trimmed beards and I think; what the Hell do you know about it?

Photo by Xenia Bogarova on Unsplash

When were you so fat, you got out of breath doing up your shoelaces?

When did you sit down with a pack of chocolate digestives, eat the whole packet and think nothing of it?

When were you weeping, while eating a cake, because the depression has kicked in?

How can these modern Adonises understand the struggle of the serial dieters? Do these people even have a sweet tooth? Do they have cravings for sugary, fatty food, that constantly nibble away at the back of the mind, eroding will power? If not, they can’t understand what it’s like for people like me.

It’s like the celebrity diet books you see every Christmas. Some soap star, with a dodgy photo of her in a bikini on one side, and how she looks now, on the other.

Doesn’t it strike anyone else as being something of a coincidence? How these people get a series of photos of them looking terrible in a swim suit and then, by Christmas, they’re all toned again… Almost like a publicist has said, ‘Time to do a diet and exercise book. Go put on a bit of weight, and I’ll organise the unflattering photos.’

Why do we trust these people, who have never battled with their weight, the way some of us have, to explain to us how to battle with our weight?

If your starting point is fit, healthy and toned, and you’re explaining to other fit, healthy and toned people how to be fit, healthy and toned, that’s one thing.

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

But if you’re fit, healthy and toned, how can you explain to unfit, unhealthy and fat people, how to be fit, healthy and toned? What do you know about 2am cravings? Or the pain in the knees, just from walking? Or getting out of breath, from walking up a flight of stairs?

But I know about these things, all too well. Maybe the question shouldn’t be, why listen to a fat guy about dieting. maybe it should be, why listen to a toned guy about dieting?

So I shall witter at length about how diet and exercise works from the perspective of the chubber. From the starting point of being unfit, unhealthy and overweight.

I can talk about the multitude of diets I’ve been on and the ones that actually work. I can discuss the best way to exercise when your joints hurt. I’ve shifted 2 stone, a couple of dozen times; I know how it’s done.

Not today, though. Oh, no; you’re safe today. Today is all about getting discharged from hospital, getting home and being doted on by my adoring family.

So, why listen to a fat guy about dieting? Because you can’t shut him up, that’s why.